How do I know you’re worth love and good care? Because I know I’m worth it!
I’ve had a few stand-out life experiences that have rocked me to the core with this simple truth: You are loved. You are worth it. This applies to everyone.
One of my experiences was about 12 years ago when I was having health problems bad enough to get me a referral to a neurologist. Two MRIs of my brain, a spinal tap and numerous exams in, he found nothing wrong with me. So I got the “it’s all in your head” talk. The dizziness, double vision, numb and tingling extremities, pain and other issues had no known cause. “In my head” I was envisioning a future of canes, walkers, wheelchairs and potentially worse.
When my neurologist looked me in the eye and said “You don’t want to be sick”, I only nodded tearfully but in the back of my head a teeny, tiny lightbulb went off. I have never admitted this to anyone before this blog post (heaven help me now!) but I was by that point fantasizing about being sick.
At that time I was mothering two small children and my husband George was working nights for near-poverty wages. I was desperate for attention and relief from my stress. Desperate enough to manufacture a potential neurological illness? I don’t know, and I won’t go so far as to say my mind (subconsciously or otherwise) could do that.
But I can say, that light bulb moment became like a light at the end of the tunnel. I could suddenly see that asking for negative attention wasn’t better than no attention at all. I wasn’t two years old, after all! I began to envision what I truly needed and wanted–excellent health, a happy and less stressed home, and hope for the future. And I started taking tiny steps to make that happen. That simple change in perspective–the new idea that I was worth it and that I deserved good health–changed everything and brought such relief.
Martyr-type, perfectionistic mothering didn’t work for me. I’m not saying any of my behaviors weren’t right for me–breastfeeding, attachment parenting, being a stay-at-home mom were all wonderful things–but my attitude of trying to do it all perfectly was certainly unhealthy. It didn’t bring my family the happiness I wanted either.
The first and best person to take care of me and meet my own needs is me. AND, I knew that to do that I needed to reach out to healers to help me through and out of that tunnel of darkness. So I did that. I am worth it and SO are you.
Sometimes when we’re not taking good care of ourselves we are bleeding our misery out all over the place whether we know it or not. You are worth good care. You are the best person to know and pursue what you really need.
I have never had a relapse of those scary symptoms from a dozen years ago. It took me years to get truly well, and now I am in great health and I am well cared for. Thanks be.
Okay, tomorrow we’re going to have some fun with this 31 Days thing! Most of my posts are not going to be this serious (or long). Get ready to play with self care tomorrow and come on back to read how.
If you’re interested in exploring heart-centered living, taking good care of yourself and living your true purpose, consider working with me one-on-one. My mission in life and my coaching practice is to help you put your own oxygen mask on first! Click here to find out more and be sure and schedule your free consult with me. There’s no obligation and I’d love to talk to you.