So, there’s this. I announce to people (like in my newsletter, for which you can sign up here and as of yesterday receive my NEW FREE mini course called Stop Being Mean to Yourself: 4 Commitments to Self-Kindness) that I’m going to write this blog series called What’s Weird About Me Wednesday, and then the last thing I want to do is follow through on that.
Forgive me, but I’m blaming my INFP nature.
Words used to describe the INFP are:
I relate to all of these. INFPs only make up about 3% of the population, and as you know I relate to being ‘weird’ and different too. By now I’m kinda proud of it, actually.
I also relate to “procrastinator”, “enjoys starting more than finishing”, “ideas person”. In other words, I adore having ideas and starting things off but oh, the follow-through. Ugh. I really, REALLY like to keep my options open, ya know?
And if I wake up on a Wednesday (or any day) and I don’t FEEL like writing a blog post, the feeling/perceiving part of me says I don’t have to. It’s just an arbitrary decision I made and I can un-make it any time. And indeed, it is and I can.
But I kinda want to write this series too. Because it’s been fun and readers have enjoyed it. And it’s now part of my business (that I love!) to have a blog and keep up my website so people get to know me. I fully intend to keep writing these posts for at least a few more weeks and I’m motivated to do so, for the most part. What I need to do is work with who I am so I can get stuff done.
So how have I learned to work with my personality and not just use it as an excuse to get out of stuff?
If you work with me, or know me, you’ll learn I’m a big believer in knowing and accepting who you are so you can stop fighting your true nature (my ecourse, Stop Being Mean to Yourself, is about exactly that at least in part).
And basically, how I work with my true nature is number one, by understanding it and number two, by having fun with it. I need fun in my life. My version of fun is likely WAY different from other people’s, but to me fun is being spontaneous and going with the flow and what FEELS right in the moment. This might not be the case for everyone–as I mentioned, I’m weird and this is what I personally need.
I need pleasure too. Who doesn’t? Rachel Cole, a life coach I deeply admire and learn from, wrote this great post on allowing pleasure in our lives, The ABCs of Self-Love: P is for Pleasure. Because I’m a FEELER and I need to feel my way through life in order to be happy, I adapt to my personality by mostly doing what I feel like, while at the same time knowing that larger values and purpose are my most motivating factors. And I try to infuse ‘pleasure’ into everything I do, even work. Consider Rachel’s words:
“What if you asked yourself each night before you go to sleep: “What will please me tomorrow?” What if you started each day by asking yourself: “What would please me right now?” Or “How can what I wear today bring me pleasure?”, “How can what I eat today be a full-on pleasurable experience?”, and “Is the music I’m listening to releasing my endorphins?” ~Rachel W. Cole
Doesn’t that just sound good? I start most days just like that because I’ve noticed if I don’t, my heart starts palpitating and I get super-anxious. Keeping a running to-do list just doesn’t work for me, though it might be just what other personality types need.
Most of us really can work with who we are. We really can adjust our lives to be about who we are, what we want, and how we want to feel. Even when our outward circumstances aren’t feeling so great, we can change what we wear, how we eat, the music or words we listen to and speak, etc. And why not make pleasure one of your top deciding factors?
I feel I can work with my personality and use it to teach others to work with theirs. Because that just feels right to me! And I’m just going to keep writing about this stuff, whether on Wednesdays or whatever days I feel like it, because I’m motivated by my larger values and purpose of helping others. Idealist, dreamer, healer=yes!
Do you know your Myers-Briggs personality type yet? If not, do you want to? Here’s the link to the free Humanmetrics test so you can find out. The MBTI is based on Jungian psychology and is a classic in personality testing.
Self-knowledge is usually free or inexpensive. Self-acceptance is priceless.